Blog 15 – Baby loss and friends

My friendships mean the world to me. I have managed to bag some of the best friends a girl could ask for! I go for quality over quantity, but I really do have an amazing social circle that I cherish.

My friendships have been tested though over these past 6 years. My very best friend has been my rock. She has just carried me through things without even realising it. I don’t have to tell her when I’m upset, she just knows. And I am the same with her. We have been through a lot and losing Isaac was a huge bump in the road for our friendship. It was like a mountain! But we have got through it and come out smiling I think. She is super respectful of my feelings and always has my back. I must have been a nightmare to be around at first. My emotions were all over the place and it was hard to socialise with me I’m sure. But she stuck my me and slept on my sofa when I needed her to just so someone was in the house. It sealed the deal for me that this girl was one in a million. And quietly, without fuss she has looked after be ever since. I know we will be friends forever.

On the day Isaac was born, another friend showed unbelievable loyalty and sat with me though every bit. I was at home for most of that day having contractions. And my friend was there coaching me though each one. She came to the hospital and stayed until late into the night after everything had happened. It is the kindest act anyone has ever done for me and I will never forget it.

There have been some instances though were some of my so-called friends have not been as supportive. And it’s really opened my eyes to who some people really are. I have lost several friends along the way, some I considered to be in my closest circle. A few have drifted but others have actually cut me out of their lives and I don’t know why. It’s been challenging at times but again I have got through it with support!

One amazing thing to come out of all this has been the amazing new friends I’ve made. My Mummy friends! I met them through Sands. And we have formed a very special bond. They are the only people I know who can fully understand me and how I really feel. It was so important for me to seek out someone I could connect with on this level. Not even my mum can understand me the way these women do and because of that they are precious. I can talk openly to them and they say my son’s name without hesitation. Our sons have brought us together… and for that I am so grateful. I wouldn’t be where I am now without them. I strongly urge anyone in my position to consider reaching out to Sands or other mum’s like us. We have all been through a life changing event and we need each other to come to term with the new paths our lives see going down.

If you have a friend who has lost a baby or child, please have a think about how you treat them. Could you do more? Could you acknowledge their child more? No mum will ever be mad if you mention their baby. We love to talk about or kids just like you do. Saying nothing at all is just the worst. There are some of my friends who never ask me about my son. Or how I am feeling. It is so very disappointing and frustrating. I know it may be hard for some people to find the right words. But any words will do! This is your friends we are talking about, they need you!

Thanks for reading.

Kim

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4 thoughts on “Blog 15 – Baby loss and friends

  1. What a nice way to share your important message in this particular round of posts for your awareness week — on friendship. You a right, having the support, of loyal and selfless friends by the sounds of it, is so powerful.

    Hope you’re well this week.

    Ivan.

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    1. Thanks Ivan. I hope that people can see how important it is for friends and family to support their loved ones. It doesnt just stop when they seem to be doing OK. Thank you for reading! Hope you are well too 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so good that you have a support group and that there are people who come together because of such a loss. I’m glad you know who your true friends are, and know that they absolutely love you and will go through anything with you as they have already. Of course you have all of us as well, we are now your blogging community, and even though I am not able to grasp the difficulty of this, know that you have all of my support xxx

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